INSPIRED BY THE ONE AND ONLY JERK

My hundred blah-blahs

*ahem*

1) I moved and do not have internet service at my house.
2) Today I told my big Itallian supervisor that he had fat sausage fingers and that was the reason for his inept typing.
3) I rescued a dog from the middle of the street and brought her home with me to take care of her and love and her treat her like she should be treated.
4) That damn dog ate my house.
5) I no longer have said dog.
6) I'm mental.
7) I think frogs are cute.
9) The first time I wore glasses, I fell off the porch. They messed up my depth perception and I missed the step.
10) My toes are short and stumpy.
11) I like the smell of blood. I think it smells kinda like pennies. However, I dont really enjoy the smell of pennies.
12) I have three Dads.
13) I also have a crapload of siblings, however I am my biological Dad's only child.
14) Well, my biological Dad semi-recently told me that he was not my Father, so maybe 13 is only half true.
15) I will be one year older sometime in the morning tomorrow.
16) Someone had to remind me that tomorrow was my birthday.
17) I believe that I am over worked and underpaid.
18) My feet hurt.
19) I have gotten rather portly. Most often I dont care, but every once in awhile I want to shave off my belly with a dull machete. See: 6.
20) I only have one sister. Ten years younger, the baby in the family. She is pregnant and I do not currently speak to her.
21) When I was 21 I worked at a bar. I met the owner on my third night there and he informed me that my skirt was not short enough.
22) I was later removed from the schedule because I refused to wear lingerie during the month of February for their new "Lingerie Lunches".
23) I HATE skirts and dresses of all kinds, but I guess I hated the thought of serving drinks in lingerie to drunk men that already tried to put their hands up my skirt even more.
24) In desperate need of a job, I was one of the first round of waitresses at the newly built Hooters in town.
25) I have NEVER told anyone about 24 because it is quite possibly the lamest thing I have ever done.
26) I lasted two weeks at Hooters then began bartending at BW3's.
27) They have good wings at BW3's.
28) I kissed my first boy because he pelted me with oranges. Again, See: 6.
29) I dont kiss girls.
30) I'm beginning to think that I do not have one hundred blah-blahs in me. But I cannot let Jerk down!! >_<
31) I think the words "monkey", "lolligagging", "Tom Foolery" and "shenanigans" are fun to say.
32) Boston accents give me happy pants.
33) I <3 Boston!!
34) I am a beauty school drop out.
35) I went to cosmotology school because it was what my Grandmother wanted and I happened to be good at it.
36) I quit because I hate that girly crap.
37) My truck was stolen a couple of weeks ago. I'm certain I will never see it again.
38) That was the third vehicle I have had stolen.
39) It makes me angry when people steal my stuff.
40) I sometimes have anger issues.
41) I tell people I'm five feet tall, but really I'm not.
42) I work in a cube.
43) Midgets make me giddy.
44) I was once asked out by a midget.
45) I think I am supposed to call them "little people", but that's stupid.
46) I have never danced witht he devil int he pale moonlight.
47) There are no white castles in the state in which I reside.
48) I dont really like seafood much.
49) My head is lumpy.
50) I think this will be a two part post.

o_o