NUMERO TRES

I really suck at this

76) I live with regret.
77) I'm pretty impressed that I know Thursday was the first day of Fall.
78) I know that because I read it on my calendar.
79) I think I should laugh today, and I know I will, because that is what I do. But right now....I really don't feel like it.
80) I'm independant to a fault.
81) I sometimes tend to overthink.
82) My plans were to go to NOLA for my birthday.
83) Stupid Katrina! Stupid Rita! >_<
84) I have a really really good friend named Melissa and we have a much better relationship than my Sister and I. I miss her.
85) I having been spending a good amount of time with someone whose company I really enjoy. Eveything about that situation scares me.
86) I should really be doing my laundry. Or anything else productive for that matter.
87) I once dated a man (for awhile) that I later found out had a wife in TX. He was a comedian and traveled to TX regularly. I was informed of his marriage by his wife over the phone. She and I became 'friends' and she asked me to move in with her. The whole situation was really complex and weird.
88) I often have the weirdest situations and happenstances occur in my life.
89) My eyes are allergic, chubby and itchy today.
90) My best good little Buddy wants to come pick me up and take me somewhere for my birthday. I feel obligated, but truth be told I dont want to.
91) One of my Fathers owe me money.
92) I dont think this was supposed to be secrets but I feel as though I shared too much, however I wont be erasing them or starting over because the thought of having to come up with more random crap to say scares me more than strangers reading my secrets on a computer screen.
93) I love and highly recommend the movie "Bad Taste".
94) I recently had to deal with a contractor named Dick Moisant and everytime he answered his phone "This is Dick Moisant" it made me giggle.
95) Apparently, my sense of humor is equivalent to that of a nine year old boy.
96) I want to shower....but I only have four more to go.
97) I used to have a recurring nightmare and I would always wake up in the same spot. I havent had it in years though. Could be because I am a bit of an insomniac.
98) I once saw someone get smashed in the face with the bottom of one of those old heavy black rotary desktop phones.
99) It was my Mother.
100) I have never been so happy to type the number one hundred.

How was that for random? I have no idea where half that crap came from. I was supposed to use this merely for my rants and two cents. Well, I guess I mucked that up.

101) I'm going to shower now.

PART DEAUX

A hundred blah blahs continued.

51) I still like to color in coloring books.
52) I cannot decide if I am tired, but I still have not been to sleep.
53) I love The Stooges, Little Rascals, Wizard of Oz and Kung Fu.
54) I sneeze when I get really, really turned on.
55) Trying hard not to do the above can really pull you out of the moment, but sneezing repeatedly while atttempting to 'get busy' can make for an awkward situation indeed.
56) I miss my Brother, but he comes home soon.
57) Muppets in Space makes me laugh repeatedly, no matter how many times I watch it.
58) I prefer small town to big city living.
59) I think bowling would be fun.
60) My best good buddy is a gay guy.
61) At eight I told my Father that I would never get married. Apparently I meant what I said, because I have kept my word.
62) I had two brother kitties about ten years ago, all fuzzy white with grey splotches that I named Biscuits and Butters. I think of them everytime I watch South Park.
63) I'm not scared of bugs or snakes or mice.
64) I need to mop my floors.
65) People tell me quite often that I am anal and obsessive compulsive.
66) I think those people are stupid heads.
67) I used to shoot hookers with BBs.
68) I wish I still had a BB gun.
69) I know how to crochet, but I cannot knit.
70) I have neautered multiple dogs, but never participated in a spay.
71) I enjoy sucking jello through my teeth until it returns to liquid.
72) Salt on watermelon is GOOD.
73) My grass is dying as I type these out.
74) I still want to do that little 'arm pull-y' motion to semis as they pass by.
75) I think I will lay my head before completing the last 25.

INSPIRED BY THE ONE AND ONLY JERK

My hundred blah-blahs

*ahem*

1) I moved and do not have internet service at my house.
2) Today I told my big Itallian supervisor that he had fat sausage fingers and that was the reason for his inept typing.
3) I rescued a dog from the middle of the street and brought her home with me to take care of her and love and her treat her like she should be treated.
4) That damn dog ate my house.
5) I no longer have said dog.
6) I'm mental.
7) I think frogs are cute.
9) The first time I wore glasses, I fell off the porch. They messed up my depth perception and I missed the step.
10) My toes are short and stumpy.
11) I like the smell of blood. I think it smells kinda like pennies. However, I dont really enjoy the smell of pennies.
12) I have three Dads.
13) I also have a crapload of siblings, however I am my biological Dad's only child.
14) Well, my biological Dad semi-recently told me that he was not my Father, so maybe 13 is only half true.
15) I will be one year older sometime in the morning tomorrow.
16) Someone had to remind me that tomorrow was my birthday.
17) I believe that I am over worked and underpaid.
18) My feet hurt.
19) I have gotten rather portly. Most often I dont care, but every once in awhile I want to shave off my belly with a dull machete. See: 6.
20) I only have one sister. Ten years younger, the baby in the family. She is pregnant and I do not currently speak to her.
21) When I was 21 I worked at a bar. I met the owner on my third night there and he informed me that my skirt was not short enough.
22) I was later removed from the schedule because I refused to wear lingerie during the month of February for their new "Lingerie Lunches".
23) I HATE skirts and dresses of all kinds, but I guess I hated the thought of serving drinks in lingerie to drunk men that already tried to put their hands up my skirt even more.
24) In desperate need of a job, I was one of the first round of waitresses at the newly built Hooters in town.
25) I have NEVER told anyone about 24 because it is quite possibly the lamest thing I have ever done.
26) I lasted two weeks at Hooters then began bartending at BW3's.
27) They have good wings at BW3's.
28) I kissed my first boy because he pelted me with oranges. Again, See: 6.
29) I dont kiss girls.
30) I'm beginning to think that I do not have one hundred blah-blahs in me. But I cannot let Jerk down!! >_<
31) I think the words "monkey", "lolligagging", "Tom Foolery" and "shenanigans" are fun to say.
32) Boston accents give me happy pants.
33) I <3 Boston!!
34) I am a beauty school drop out.
35) I went to cosmotology school because it was what my Grandmother wanted and I happened to be good at it.
36) I quit because I hate that girly crap.
37) My truck was stolen a couple of weeks ago. I'm certain I will never see it again.
38) That was the third vehicle I have had stolen.
39) It makes me angry when people steal my stuff.
40) I sometimes have anger issues.
41) I tell people I'm five feet tall, but really I'm not.
42) I work in a cube.
43) Midgets make me giddy.
44) I was once asked out by a midget.
45) I think I am supposed to call them "little people", but that's stupid.
46) I have never danced witht he devil int he pale moonlight.
47) There are no white castles in the state in which I reside.
48) I dont really like seafood much.
49) My head is lumpy.
50) I think this will be a two part post.

o_o